Taking a Leap with Pennies of Time

The poem on the image above is an adaptation of the poem, "Come to the Edge" by Christopher Logue.  I heard a similar adaptation as a teenager and have further adapted the poem to reflect the brilliance that can result as a result of #riskrejection.  

Many times I hear that people are afraid of helping others because of the risk in putting themselves out there . . . fearing that their service or kindness will be rejected.  

 The risk is real, 
but ever so sweet are the experiences of helping another. 

Recently, Amy Sullivan challenged the world with #riskrejection and set forth a call to embrace rejection, risk being rejected.  As I sat back and read that challenge, knowing full well that the fear of rejection = my personal kryptonite, I realized it was time.  The time is now.

This life is about putting my own inadequacies and fears aside so that I can help others.  Isn’t that what I have been teaching my children?  Kind of ironic, right, that in the process of sharing our journey of serving with our children that I became the limit-er on the influence of this conversation?

It was a year ago that I realized that Pennies of Time had the capacity to do more than I initially thought it would.  I toyed with the idea of changing the site to increase the capacity.  I prayed about it, found a complete lack of funds to do that, and let that "pushy feeling" be.   

Frankly, that act of ignoring inspiration was also part of a selfish, very fearful act, in avoiding rejection.  I really didn't want more attention on me, witnesses to my ever exposed mistakes.

It was seven months ago that my hunch became real life.  Pennies of Time had outgrown its home.  I prayed about it-again, found a complete lack of funds to do what is needed, and let that "pushy feeling" be.  Timing just wasn't quite right.  Sigh of relief . . . if I don't try to expand Pennies of Time, I can't be disappointed by the failure of that act. 

This October, I couldn't ignore what was happening with Pennies of Time any longer.  The amount of time I spend answering emails, coordinating service work, posting on Pennies of Time, networking with like-minded people . . . all of that was WAY more than I ever, ever thought would happen.  I prayed about what do to, I asked a couple of smart people, I prayed some more, received an answer, and then I.GOT.SCARED!

Me, with my fears, with my real-life financial and time limitations   . . . yes, if I don't face my fears, face #riskrejection, then I will officially be my own worst enemy in actualizing what I have been prompted over and over to do.

And, as I sit here writing this, I feel like throwing up and I am shaking like a leaf and I may just cry . . . with the power of making my thoughts public.  This whole process might not work . . . or it may not become what I see in my mind, but I am mustering the courage to allow Pennies of Time to really become what it needs to be.  It gets really, real with that my friends.
 
A huge part of me really likes ignoring the prompting . . .  living in the land of blissful avoidance of rejection is ever so nice.  At the same time, what if I faced the #riskrejection and found a better way to help families, our communities?

Pennies of Time is going big time!

Do to this, Pennies of Time needs to transition, develop a formalized structure, and expand.  Since taking on #riskrejection a week ago, I have started applying for fellowships, approaching experts, figuring out how to find funding (begging for funding), and just all out feeling like I am walking around with my greatest fear exposed.  I have a whole host of things that I need to learn and do. 

What if I can't find the money?

What if I can't find the time?

What if people tell me NO.  Laugh at me?

But, what if someone says, yes.  What if I find a way for Pennies of Time to be a greater resource for others?

I won't know until I #riskrejection and do it.

{Editorial Note from Me, Sheila:  I wish you could see how nervous I am.  Seriously.  

I may just throw up when this post goes live, my heart is beating fast and furiously.}

Open to your feedback and ideas!  

feel free to comment below or email me at

penniesoftime @ gmail.com 

Want to #riskrejection with a group of others?  

Tweet it out with #riskrejection.  Share what risk you are taking!